Today's Chuckle

DJRENO

Active member
Premium Member
It is good to keep things light and share a laugh with others. Another forum I participate in has a similar thread so I thought I'd start one here as well. Please share your chuckles with the crew here at Reno4x4.

And so it begins....
 

DJRENO

Active member
Premium Member
The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska.
He was driving along near the campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Vote for Hillary' hat and a 'Save the Trees' shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.


As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Trump shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.

Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who was that guy? "Dude, that was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.


"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he don't know squat about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to California and get another one?
 

DJRENO

Active member
Premium Member
A large earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured.

Iraq, Iran and Syria were totally ruined and the governments asked for help to rebuild.

The rest of the world was in shock.

Great Britain sent troops to help keep the peace.

Saudi Arabia sent oil and monetary assistance.

Latin American countries sent clothing.

New Zealand and Australia sent sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian countries sent labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.

Canada sent medical teams and supplies.

The new American President, Donald Trump, not to be outdone, sent two million replacement Muslims.
 

DJRENO

Active member
Premium Member
Classic One Liner

A waiter walks up to a group of liberals
eating at a restaurant and asks,
"Is anything alright? "
 

DaGimp

Well-known member
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well-being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”

The blonde replies, “Early this morning, I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”

“I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.”

The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. “If you need anything, just let me know,” he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the woman. He looks out over his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes out to her and asks, “Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No,” replies the blonde, “I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!”
 

DJRENO

Active member
Premium Member
The Sinner

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy almost always avoided going to church most of his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"


Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday . I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church.

So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father,

....after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat!
 

DaGimp

Well-known member
Single again this Valentines Day, 6 years in a row.. .


z6NOvCr.gif
 

DaGimp

Well-known member
Two hunters hired a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged four.

As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot told them the plane could take only two moose.

The two hunters objected strongly, stating, “Last year we shot four moose, and the pilot let us put them all on board, and he had the same plane as yours.”

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all four were loaded.

Unfortunately, even at full power, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and crashed a few minutes after takeoff.

Climbing out of the wreck, one hunter asked the other, “Any idea where we are?”

He replied, “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.”
 
Top